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Dealing With Trauma

Posted by  on Sunday, November 11th 2012     

Emotional and psychological trauma can be caused by single-blow, one-time events, such as a horrible accident, a natural disaster, or a violent attack. Trauma can also stem from ongoing, relentless stress, such as living in a crime-ridden neighborhood or struggling with cancer. It is very normal for people to experience many emotional and physical aftershocks or stress reactions following a traumatic event. Sometimes these aftershocks appear almost immediately after the event but sometimes it may take a few hours, days or even weeks before any type of negative stress reactions appear. Individual responses may include intense fear, shame, helplessness, or horror. Depending on the severity of the event, the signs and symptoms of trauma may last a few days, several weeks or months, or even longer.

When bad things happen, it can take a while to get over the physical and emotional pain and feel safe again. The way someone deals with trauma depends on his or her own history and prior experiences.The most common reaction include shock and denial. Someone in shock may feel stunned, dazed or numb. They may find it easier to cut off from your feelings and from what is going on around you. When a person is in denial, they are unable to accept what happened so they behave as though it didn’t. It may take several hours, days or weeks before the denial gradually fades and other feelings and thoughts take place.

What happens next?

People react differently to trauma and it may take different amounts of time to come to terms with what has happened. Even so, you may be surprised by the strength of your feelings. It is normal to experience a mix of feelings. You may feel:

  • Frightened that the same thing will happen again, or that you might lose control of your feelings and break down.
  • Helpless that something really bad happened and you could do nothing about it. You feel helpless, vulnerable and overwhelmed.
  • Angry about what has happened and with whoever was responsible.
  • Guilty that you have survived when others have suffered or died. You may feel that you could have done something to prevent it.
  • Sad particularly if people were injured or killed, especially someone you knew.
  • Ashamed or embarrassed that you have these strong feelings you can’t control, especially if you need others to support you.
  • Relieved that the danger is over and that the danger has gone.
  • Hopeful that your life will return to normal. People can start to feel more positive about things quite soon after a trauma.

What Can You Do for Yourself?

There are many ways you can help yourself deal with a traumatic event. Some are healthy and some are not. It is important to try to take each day at a time and to do what you know is right for you. Everyone has their own way of coping with trauma. These are some general suggestions about what can help.

  • Recognise that you have been through a distressing experience and give yourself permission to experience your reactions to it. Don’t be angry with yourself for being upset. Remind yourself that you are not abnormal and that you can and are coping.
  • Don’t  use alcohol or other drugs to cope and avoid making any major decisions or big life changes.
  • Do not try to block out thoughts of what has happened. Gradually confronting what has happened will assist in coming to terms with the traumatic experience. It may help to share your feelings and experiences with others when opportunities arise. Although this may be really hard at times, talking to people you trust is helpful in dealing with trauma.
  • Allow yourself time to rest if you are feeling tired, and remember that regular exercise is important. Let your friends and family know what you need. Help them to help you by letting them know when you are tired, need time out, or need a chance to talk or just be with someone.
  • Make time to practise relaxation. You can use a formal technique such as progressive muscle relaxation or just make time to absorb yourself in a relaxing activity such as gardening or listening to music. This will help your body and nervous system to settle and readjust.
  • It’s not unusual for the trauma to stir up other memories or feelings from a past unrelated stressful occurrence, or even childhood experiences, If you need help dealing with the memories, that’s ok.
  • Express your feelings as they arise. Whether you discuss them with someone else or write them down in a diary, expressing feelings in some way often helps the healing process.

When bad things happen, it can take a while to get over the pain and feel safe again. But with the right treatment, self-help strategies, and support, you can speed your recovery. Whether the traumatic event happened years ago or yesterday, you can heal and move on.

 

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7 Steps to Reduce Stress

Posted by  on Wednesday, November 7th 2012     

There are a lot of things life that can stress  us out: family problems, trouble with friends, financial issues and work.  Stress is often a response to all the changes in your life and it can cause emotional and physical reactions. The less experience and strategies you have dealing with stress, the more difficult it is to cope with it. Stress is  can also be a factor in causing other,  things like anxiety, depression, physical illness and even drug/alcohol use.

The bad news is that stress is inevitable. The good news, however, is that there are ways to deal with it. By recognizing the signs of stress, like difficulty sleeping, eating, concentrating in school, headaches and fatigue, you can take specific actions in order to help yourself cope with stress overload.

  • Get enough sleep. Most of us don’t get enough sleep. Experts say that most people need at least  eight hours of sleep each night in order to be well-rested and healthy, but only about 1:10 actually get that much. Between work, family and a social life, it’s hard to find time for that much sleep. Make an effort, though. It’s definitely worth it.
  • You Are What You Eat. Junk food (potato chips, candy bars, soft drinks) actually cheat your of body of the necessary energy it needs to deal with stress. While it may give you an initial rush by increasing your blood sugar quickly, just as quickly, your blood sugar will drop. You’ll feel better and have more energy if you eat fresh fruits and vegetables and drink plenty of water. When you need a pick-me-up, instead of reaching for a candy bar or a Diet Coke, try a yogurt or some peanut butter crackers. Carbs and protein will work better than sugar and caffeine.
  • Stay Active. It’s important to your physical and mental well-being to make an effort to be more physically active. Find things that you like to do and find friends you like to do them with. Working out is a great way to let off steam and reduce stress. When you exercise your brain produces endorphins, which are natural chemicals that make you feel good.
  • Stop procrastinating. Unfortunately, procrastinating only leads to more stress later on. Using a daily planner can help with  you with this.  With a daily planner, either electronic or otherwise,  you’ll be able to keep track of everything you need to get done and it will reduce the number of “surprise” tasks that pop up. With everything written down, you won’t have to worry about forgetting any important plans or responsibilities.
  • Take Care of Yourself. Schedule time for fun, spending time with your friends and even spending time on your own to give yourself a chance to relax. Try to spend some time doing the things you like and surround yourself with positive people who make you feel good about yourself. Avoid those people who are downers.
  • Learn what things you can control and what things you can’t. There will always be things in your life that you can’t control. It will only cause more stress by focusing on these things and attempting to control them to no avail. By recognizing the difference between the things you can and cannot control, you will save yourself a lot of stress and grief.
  • Don’t keep it to yourself. Try to seek out people you feel comfortable with and talk about the stress you are experiencing. Find other positive ways to express your feelings: draw, keep a journal, paint, blog.

Dealing with stress overload can sometimes be as simple as better prioritizing your life or can be as complicated as needing outside help such as counseling or therapy. Remember, it takes time to develop good stress management habits. It takes practice and perseverance. and it’s okay to take it one step at a time.

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Can Nutrition Help Fight Depression?

Posted by  on Tuesday, October 16th 2012     

Guest Post by Dr. Bradley Jabour:

Depression is a widespread condition that can cause people to lose interest in their everyday activities. Depression can lead to feelings of sadness, worthlessness, the inability to find enjoyment in any activity, or even bring about suicidal thoughts. This often debilitating disease can be effectively treated with various methods, including therapy and medications. However, recent studies have found that nutrition may play a large part in the both cause and cure of depression.

The Role of Food in Depression

When people feel sad, down or depressed, it’s not uncommon for people to turn to food as a way of making themselves feel better. When people seek out food for comfort, it usually takes the forms of junk food or foods high in sugar content. Even though you seek out junk food when you’re depressed, the effect that these processed and high-sugar foods have on your body can actually worsen your depression.

Foods that Cause Your Body Stress

High sugar foods create stress on your body. As your liver processes the sugar, it uses what it can for energy and stores the rest as fat. If there are large amounts of sugar, the liver works twice as hard, giving the body that lazy and lethargic feeling, like you just don’t have enough energy to do anything. As your body becomes stressed, you may start to feel ill or unwell. This unpleasant feeling will only cause you to feel more depressed.

Processed foods have the same effect on your liver. However, the large amounts of chemical based products in these foods can place undue stress on all of your organs. As the liver is unable to process these chemicals, the body becomes damaged. The damage can cause depression and aches and pains. Most people report feeling physical pain with their depression, poor eating habits are what is most likely contributing to this fact.

Relying on caffeine or alcohol to deal with the depression can also harm your body. Caffeine will increase your cortisol levels, causing you to feel stress, while alcohol is a depressive and will enhance the sad feelings.

On the other side of the issue, many people opt to avoid food when they are depressed. This is also the wrong way to deal with depression because the malnutrition caused by lack of food can enhance the depressive mood as well as cause physical problems.

Foods That Help Fight Depression

Foods high in Omega-3 fatty acids, like walnuts, Brussels sprouts, kale, spinach, salad greens and some fish, are very good for fighting depression. Many studies that have been done in recent years which show that the brain needs Omega-3 to function properly. Omega-3 has been shown to increase the receptive powers of the brain on dopamine and serotonin levels, which help to balance out these hormones.

Well balanced diets that include all the food groups are best for people suffering from depression. An Australian study found, however, that people eating excessive amounts of fried foods often suffer from higher depression rates. In addition, while sugar has been shown to elevate mood, people often go overboard. Sugar can be quickly abused and cause more damage to the body than good. Substituting sugar and processed sugar products with a sweet fruit will bring about the same results without damaging the liver.

Studies have also shown that taking a multivitamin can help fight the onset of depression. A recent study conducted in the United Kingdom has shown that many people with depression suffer from vitamin deficiencies. The most common deficiencies were: Selenium, B6, B12, Magnesium and Manganese. And while a well-balanced diet should provide enough of these vitamins and minerals, a multi-vitamin can help when food is not enough.

We all get sad from time to time, usually in response to stressful or  traumatic life situations. A painful divorce, the  loss of a job or personal problems can trigger lack of appetite, insomnia, and feelings of deep  sadness. If your sadness last longer than a few weeks, or if it occurs  outside the context of a major life change, you may have what’s known as a “major  depressive disorder.” While food alone is not a cure for depression, it can go a long way when coupled with medication and therapy.

Bradley A. Jabour M.D. has more than 20 years experience in academic and clinical research and is a nationally recognized Neuroradiologist. Dr. Jabour speaks at colleges and Universities around  the globe and has received several national honors, including a  Certificate of Merit from The Radiological Society of North America  (RSNA). Jabour lives in Santa Monica where he practices as Chief of  Neuroradiology at the depression treatment center, Smart Brain and Health.

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The Mind/Body Connection and How It Affects Your Health

Posted by  on Friday, March 16th 2012     

woman doing yoga on the beachThe presence of the mind/body connection and its impact on health has long been debated among experts. In the 1800s, many doctors believed that our emotions were linked to disease and often prescribed visits to spas or seaside resorts to remedy the “ill-humors” that lead to illness. As time passed, and the advent of microbiology highlighted the role that toxins and bacteria played in causing illness, the role emotions played in physical health took its place on the back burner.

In recent years, however, the link between emotional and physical health has come into the spotlight again. New forms of treatment, such as mediation, yoga, biofeedback and guided imagery are emerging as ways of improving emotional health to increase physical health. Many practitioners now recognize that psychological factors can play a major role in illnesses like heart disease, chronic pain and arthritic conditions.

Most people today can attest to the fact that when they experience stress, sadness or anxiety, they feel a disruption in their emotional health that often leads to a disintegration of their physical health. Poor emotional health can weaken your immune system, making it more likely to get colds or other viruses during emotionally difficult times. But how do emotions affect your health and what can you do to increase the positive energy in order to maintain a positive outlook that, in turn, will help maintain your physical health?

Think Positive

Studies have shown that people who maintain a positive outlook appear to have healthier immune systems, live longer and recover better from medical procedures. Scientific investigation indicates that we produce cortisol in response to stress and emotional turmoil. There is the suggestion is that optimism leads to a lower cortisol levels and, therefore, better reactions to stress.

Stress is inevitable. We all experience stress and our bodies respond through hormones. When we are able to maintain a healthy and positive outlook, our bodies will respond to the stress, process it and then return to their normal state. When the stress is chronic and ongoing, our bodies suffer and can’t seem to repair itself as easily and the stress can lead to headaches, digestive issues, high blood pressure, and even stroke. Stress can prolong healing, affect our body’s immune system, impact on memory and learning and have other negative effects on your health.

Improving Your Emotional Health

By recognizing your emotions and understanding what is causing of your feelings of sadness, stress or anxiety and you will likely be more effective at managing your emotional health. The following steps can ensure that you are able to maintain a more positive outlook on life, reduce your cortisol levels and, therefore, improve your body’s resilience and reaction to emotional distress, when it happens.

Become Self Aware

The first step in developing a positive outlook is to become self-aware. By recognizing your emotions and why you feel the way you do, you will be more able to help sort the negative feelings and the causes behind them.

Learn to Express Your Feelings in Appropriate Ways

If feelings of sadness, stress and anxiety are affecting your ability to function effectively, keeping your feelings hidden from others can exacerbate the negative feelings and make you feel worse. Leaning on your support system, talking to your friends and family or a helping professional can help you gain perspective and insight into what you are experiencing. By expressing your feeling and understanding why you may be feeling the way you are, you are more able to look for steps to fix the negative situation.

Finding Balance

As adults, we often become adept at juggling many part of our lives like work, family, school and friends. By recognizing what your priorities are, and staying true to what’s really important to you, you may be able to let go of the negative feelings that often arise over the desire to feel like you need to be everything to everyone, which ends up causing feelings of resentment and exhaustion. Focus on your goals and priorities with a positive outlook and take joy in the company of friends and family.

Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

We all experience irritation at the little things that happen in our lives by trying to maintain a positive outlook and learning how to let go of any negative feelings that you experience as a result of problems in your life, you will be calmer, more balanced and better able to deal with any negative situations that arise. By maintaining a positive outlook and finding the joy in everyday things, you have the chance to improve the quality of your life and give your health a boost.

Develop a Thick Skin

People with a resilient spirit are better able to deal with stress. Resilience can be developed in different ways. By having a strong support network of family and friends, by keeping a positive view of yourself and your accomplishments, by reacting well to change and by keeping things in perspective you will be more successful in managing the stress in your daily life.

Put Your Body First

While good emotional health is important, taking good physical care of yourself is also key to being healthy. Eating well, getting enough sleep, abstaining from smoking, alcohol or drugs and maintaining a healthy lifestyle will also have a positive effect on your state of mind. When you feel good in your body, you feel good in your mind.

Finding Your Happy Place

For some, relaxation, meditation, yoga and guided imagery are effective techniques for letting go of stress and bringing balance and focus back into your life. For others, exercise, listening to music, drawing or reading provides that necessary regeneration of the spirit. By learning how to deal with emotional and mental difficulties and stress, you can help prevent the negative physical manifestations they produce. By following the step towards mind-body connection, you will keep yourself healthy, both in body and mind.

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Progressive Relaxation With Children

Posted by  on Monday, February 27th 2012     

Children lying on a beachHave your child lie down on his or her bed.  You can even lie down beside them as doing relaxation together can be a bonding experience and good for both of you too!

While you should follow the script as written, you can modify it to suit your needs. Don’t be afraid to just start ad libbing as you get more and more into the exercise.  Try to maintain a calm, soft and soothing voice.

When You’re Ready To Begin:

 

Ok, sweetheart, let’s start by taking some warm up breaths.  I want you to take a deep breath in….. hold it…. and let it go.  Good job.  Let’s do that again. In…. hold…. and out.  Good.

Let’s keep taking deep breaths and feel how it relaxes you to breathe deeply.

Now I want you to squeeze your hands closed into fists. Just like you are squeezing a ball in each hand… hold it tighter…. and even tighter…. Feel how your muscles are tense.

And now relax. Let your hands go limp. Feel all the stress leave your hands… Now your hands feel relaxed. Feel the calm come right into your hands and all the stress run out.  Good.

Remember to keep breathing.  Breathe in and breathe out.  Breathe in all the good, calm air and breathe out all the stressed air.  When you breathe in, feel your chest and sides expanding, like a balloon filling with air. When you breathe out, imagine your body is like a balloon shrinking with the air being let out.

Breathe in through your nose, imagining your body expanding like a balloon…. and now imagine letting the end of the balloon go, and the air rushing out as you breathe out through your mouth.

As you breathe in this time, I want you to tense your arms. Make them tight, tight, tight.  Feel all the muscles tense and hold it…. hold it…. hold it… and let go…

Feel all the stress leave your arms. Now your arms and hands both feel warm and heavy and very tired.  Good job.

Now relax and feel your arms at your sides, while you continue breathing slowly and deeply.

Remember the difference between tense and relaxed. Tighten your leg muscles to make both of your legs tense. Squeeze tighter…. tighter… tighter….and now relax.

Let your legs become very relaxed. Each leg is as floppy as spaghetti.

Feel all the stress leaving your legs and all the warmth and calm coming in.  Your legs feel heavy. The muscles are loose.

See how it feels to be relaxed. Your arms and legs are relaxed.

Now I want you to tighten your whole body, as tight as you can make it and hold it….hold it….hold it…and let go.

Feel all the tension leave your body. You feel nice and loose. Warm and heavy.  And very calm.

Now let your whole body is relaxed. See how relaxed you can make your body…. loosening every muscle…. no tension at all…..

Your body feels heavy and relaxed.

Relax even more by noticing your breathing again. See how calm your breathing is. In…. and out….. in…. and out…

Keep breathing and simply relax. There is nothing you need to do right now except relax quietly.

See how calm and relaxed you feel. It feels good to relax.

If the child is ready for bed, let them lie still for a bit, reminding them to keep breathing. If they need to get up, ask them to wiggle their toes and fingers for a bit before sitting up. Have them sit up for a minute before going out to play.

Progressive relaxation is a great tool for both parents and children to alleviate some of the stress of the day, calm the mind before bed, and rejuvenate the spirit.

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Temper Tantrums: Why Kids Have Them and How To Handle It

Posted by  on Tuesday, February 21st 2012     

Temper tantrums are a frustrating, yet normal part of childhood.  Basically, it is a child’s way of dealing with frustration and disappointment.  It’s also a way for children to begin to try to establish some independence from their parents and caregivers.

Why Kids Have Tantrums

Temper tantrums come in a variety of shapes and sizes, from whining and stomping feet to full-blown yelling, kicking and screaming.  Some children may hold their breath, vomit or become physically aggressive.  Tantrums are equally common in boys and girls and usually occur between the ages of 1 and 3, although they can often longer).

Kids’ temperament differs and each child has a different frustration tolerance, meaning some children can handle disappointment better than others.  Unlike adults, kids are not able to control their feelings as well so frustration can often turn into a full-blown tantrum, especially when the child is tired or hungry.

Kids Tantrum Because They’re Frustrated at Not Getting What They Want, Not Being Understood and an Increasing sense of Autonomy

 

When you think about it, toddler frustration is understandable. Imagine always being told that you can’t have what you want, that you’re too young, that is too late to stay up, that you can’t watch the program you want to and that you can’t wear what you want.  Depending on their level of communication, toddlers may have real trouble actually communicating their needs so others can understand them. This can also be very frustrating.  Most parents do find that as language skills improve, tantrums decrease.

As children grow, they are also faced with an increasing need for independence and control over their environment. They want to do it on their own, though often, they aren’t old enough to do so, causing frustration.

How to Avoid Tantrum

While it’s not possible to avoid tantrums, altogether, it is possible to take a few proactive steps to arm your toddler with enough emotional energy, a sense of autonomy and control over their environment to greatly reduce the frequency and intensity of the tantrum.

  • Respect your child’s limits: Make sure your child isn’t tired, hungry, scared or bored.
  • Spend time with your child: Are the tantrums a sign that your child needs some more of your attention? To a child, any attention, even negative attention, is better than none.
  • Give your child some control: If it’s a choice that really doesn’t matter in the great scheme of things, like which shirt or which type of juice, let your child pick what they want. Offering minor choices like whether they want a story before or after they brush their teeth rather than a question they can answer “no” is key.
  • Keep certain objects out of sight: While it’s not always possible to keep enticing objects out of your child’s view but if you can, do.
  • Distraction: Trying to distract your child with a joke, story or game may work if the tantrum hasn’t progressed too far.
  • Give plenty of notice: It’s hard to quit a loved task right in the middle. Give your child 10, 5 and 1 minute warnings before changing or stopping an activity.
  • Praise positive behaviours: When the child is able to gain control themselves, praise his or her behaviour.

When Your Child Begins To Tantrum

  • Stay calm: The temper tantrum isn’t about you; it’s about your child. As hard as it may be, try to stay calm, speak softly and soothingly to your child.
  • Avoid reasoning with your child during a tantrum: They aren’t in a place to listen or respond coherently. Wait till the tantrum is over before trying to talk to discuss their behaviour.
  • Verbalize what your child might be feeling: While speaking softly and soothingly, try to express what your child may be feeling. Saying “I know you must be tired,” or “I can tell you are really disappointed,” will help your child verbalize his or her feelings in the future.
  • Make sure your child is safe: Remove objects that may hurt your child.
  • Model positive behaviour: If you are having difficulty maintaining your calm, model time out behaviour. While the safety of your child is key, if you can, calmly tell your child you’re frustrated and you need a time out. Leave the room for a moment to gather yourself before going back to your child.
  • Model emotional coping techniques. Show your child how adults can find other ways of coping with stress and anger besides yelling and screaming. Use phrases like “I’m upset now, but I’m going to figure out how to fix this.”

If you’re in public or with others, you can simply explain that your child is having a tough time, excuse yourself and move out of the situation. Leave the room, go to the car, or go home. Do whatever you need to do swiftly and matter–of–factly. It’s important not to give the tantrum attention, either positive or negative.

Most children will outgrow temper tantrums by the age of 4. With time and their parent’s help, most children learn healthy ways to handle the strong emotions that can lead to temper tantrums. While temper tantrums are, unfortunately, a natural event in the life of toddlers, with good modeling of positive behavior and effective coping strategies, both parent and child can emerge from toddlerhood relatively unscathed.

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